What is your hope in cultivating empathy in your students?
What behaviors do you think adults should model in an empathetic school culture?
What is your hope in cultivating empathy in your students?
What behaviors do you think adults should model in an empathetic school culture?
To cultivate empathy in my students I want to start with the school environment. I want to create an environment that is judgment free where students feel safe to come and share their thoughts and feelings. My goal would be to get to know the students not just on an academic level but what else is going on in their world. My hope would be to see students being kind to one another in their words and actions.
I want to model kindness, perspective taking, listening skills, and the ability to work together. By modeling these behaviors my goal is students will see my expectations and will demonstrate this in the environment and beyond.
I also agree it needs to be a school-wide initiative. I can do what I can do, within the four walls of my classroom, but to see it rippling across the school is really where the impact is.
Our staff makes a point of greeting each other and students warmly each day. You can often pass rooms with low lighting and soft music playing at the beginning of the day helping all students get off to a calm start. We really make a point of showing empathy to each other as well as appreciation and gratitude. When a teacher is out sick, we share our concern with the students for their well-being. When a teacher brings me an ice tea “just because” I make a big deal about it by thanking them and telling them it was just what I needed in front of the students. Let them see you modeling this. One other thing I do is every week, or every other week, I change the screen saver on my SMART board. I purposely leave it on a little longer in the morning so that each day the kids see a message about acceptance, empathy, etc. It is a simple non-verbal that has just become a part of our classroom culture and routine. Even if they never say anything about it, I hope it makes them stop and think about their own beliefs.
Working in a middle school, sometimes seeing empathetic moments in my 8th grade students is a rare occurrence! My hope in cultivating empathy within our students and our building is that it would become a character trait that defines us to each other and to our community. Too often I’ve heard that people have the view that bullying is rampant, our kids are mean and the teachers and staff are ineffective in counteracting these behaviors. I would love for our kids to be known for their kindness and our building to be seen as a positive bright spot in our district.
As Borba writes, “remember to model the behaviors you want your child to adopt.” While pertinent for parents, this also is relevant to adults within our school. If we aren’t being welcoming, kind, helpful, respectful, friendly, patient and generous toward each other and our students, we can’t really expect them to follow suit. I’m hopeful that as students see me dry-mopping the floor on snowy mornings so they don’t fall, picking up stray pencils or trash on the floor, greeting them by name or being willing to drop everything and talk when they are hurting that this will help them learn that taking care of each other and our school matters and they will desire to do these things too.
One of the most important things I tell my students on the first day of school is that my goal for them is to be kind to all students. I explain that being kind is the foundation that will help them become successful both in my classroom and in life outside of school. In order to be kind though, children must understand empathy and how “putting themselves in someone else’s shoes” can teach them kindness. My hope in cultivating empathy starts with the students in my classroom. When I model kindness and understanding, my hope is that my students will follow. I believe it starts with providing an environment for my students where they can be themselves, feel included, and be understood. As my students learn the importance of being empathetic, it is my hope that they show their care and concern and understanding for others outside of our classroom.
In order to teach empathy, it is important that I model behaviors I hope to see in them. Sometimes that might mean we have to stop and talk about the behavior so they really begin to understand the importance of it. Sometimes, I might just need to praise the child in front of his/her peers for other students to see that kindness makes a difference. Simple behaviors such as greeting students each morning, interacting with them on a personal level, and doing a task to help another student can help cultivate empathy within the classroom. I believe that most teachers are modeling kind and caring behaviors on a daily basis, but I’m not sure that our students are even picking up on these kind acts. In order to teach empathy, I think we need to show it, but we also need to talk about it. Children are eager to learn and I truly believe they want to be kind, but we as teachers have to show them how.
I definitely agree with Jenny’s comments above that cultivating empathy in middle school students can be a challenge and a rare occurrence. My hope in cultivating empathy is for my students to respect one another and the struggles and rewards others maybe facing in our school. Too often kids don’t feel comfortable or safe at school due to students being unkind and disrespectful to them and their circumstances. As a result, teachers and school staff are now having to navigate teaching social/emotional lessons in addition to academic lessons. I want to model active listening, kindness, and be a support person for my students in my building.
My hope with cultivating empathy in students is that young people will lead with less fear and more purpose. When we can see beyond ourselves, we can find meaning in what we do. My theory is that children will seek out opportunities to help others because it feels good.
Behaviors adults should model in an empathetic school culture: Eye contact, warm greetings, smiles, listening, assuming positive intent when student actions could be seen as negative, and an overall approach to CONNECTING with students and colleagues.
As part of serving the demographics of our school, I want to create an environment that focuses on two things:
1. Provide more opportunities and moments to challenge the students perspective and individual point of view.
2. Promote a school environment that embraces sharing and expressing emotions. One way to reinforce this is by modeling the behavior as educators. An simple way to do this is by sharing ‘how’ a situation or circumstance would make us feel (or made us feel). It reenforces the importance of sharing our emotional state so we can respond more positively to future moments of strong emotion.
In order to cultivate empathy in my students, my hope is that the school culture will be one of kindness, a place where students feel invited & safe, and one where they have the opportunity to role play and/or practice thinking outside of themselves. The more opportunity students have to role play these situations, the more empathetic they might become. Getting to know students beyond their academics is so important today. My goal would be to invest time in my students’ well-being in order to establish trusted relationships which would hopefully lead to students feeling that school is a safe place.
Examples adults can model in an empathetic culture are positive body language, smiling and greeting students each day, active listening, positive communication. Discussing the perspective of others with small groups of students is also helpful for students to see that teachers do think outside of themselves. Our high school has a Kindness committee made of up of teachers and students. They offer small acts of kindness from notes and/or candy in teachers’ mailboxes, small treats, notes on lockers. They are always doing something to make others feel appreciated and wanted. I think we are demonstrating many positive acts of kindness and showing empathy, but possibly the high school students need to be taught directly about empathy and why it’s so important.
I love the idea of a kindness committee!
My hope in cultivating empathy in my students is to model transparency, honesty, and compassion. Teaching them how to be active listeners and to be “in tune” with another person by reading their body language. Be the “I” in KIND.
I would like to challenge my students to think outside of themselves, their own feelings and/or their current situation and walk in someone else’s shoes.
My hope and goal as a middle school Phys Ed teacher, in cultivating empathy in my students is to talk with them about it, and actually do different activities that have them working side by side helping and encouraging each other. On the first day with my students, in addition to going over my rules, I talk with them about the importance of teamwork, being positive, and encouraging each other. I tell them this is very important, especially if they want to have more friends (and we all do).
We (as teachers and parents) should be positive role models to our children, in the way we speak and the way we act. Children as young as 2 years old see and hear more than we think they do. So, it’s important to lead by example – to be other-focused (not self-focused), and to be slow to speak and quick to listen (James 1:19). I also try to keep in mind the saying; “children don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care”.
I would be the happiest camper if we could just be nice to each other. As outlandish a concept as this may sound at a middle school level, I will continue to strive for this goal. Not all the students will buy into the program, but there are those that are reachable. Even if they resist, I have to continue to be nice to them. I will not be able to change the world but I can make my corner a little better. Sometimes I get even the hardest students to exhibit manners and compassion to one another. They wear on me yet I refuse to give up on them. Occasionally they cannot help themselves and do nice things.
I feel adults should model the same behaviors they want to see in their students. Many of our learners do not experience compassion and kindness in their homes. My job goes far beyond the 3 R’s, I need to teach them how to take care of one another.
Jenny noted above and Borba stated “remember to model the behaviors you want your child to adopt.” This statement rings so true, it take a village to cultivate empathy. Empathy has been big topic of discussion amongst our staff and we have pulled together as a school wide community to commit to modeling greeting students daily and reiterating when an adult says good morning you respond back. We have made progress but certainly need to continue to model and reinforce.
We have also incorporated a school wide program called PACK. PACK groups meet once a month and it’s an opportunity for students and staff members to engage in activities with peers across grade levels. The focus of PACK this year has been understanding our feelings and the feelings of others as a continuation of our efforts to cultivate empathy within our community.
We have made some progress and have noted the students respond well doing for others in a directed manner, but have to continue to reinforce and model basic manners in hopes it becomes ingrained.
My hope in cultivating empathy is that it follows them as they grow. They say most children won’t remember the specific content from elementary school, but they will remember how they felt, and how you treated them. I know as educators we get frustrated when we have to stop instruction to address behavior. My hope is that those “stops” have value within themselves, and that I can continue to handle them with patience and grace remembering that not all students have empathy modeled at home. I think adult should model reaffirming a child’s feelings, acknowledge/model that everyone matters, and model forgiveness and humility.
My hope in cultivating empathy with my students is to create a daily practice that will allow them to form habits to look beyond the mirror, the camera, the app and connect with others. Without empathy, there are no relationships. Without relationships, there is no community. Without community, we become withdrawn and lonely, depression and anxiety begin to settle within us.
In order to model this behavior within a school culture, we need to be open (but with boundaries) with our students. They need to see us as humans. As beings affected by relationships. We need to ensure we are modeling kindness, respect, caring and most importantly we need to listen. When relationships are damaged with our students, we need to reach out and repair them. We need to discuss and process with them whatever occurred by listening to their feelings and their story. We need to also, share how their behavior affected ourselves and the others around them. Conflict happens, relationships are damaged. Mending those relationships is just as important as the initial formation of them.
When I first began training to become a teacher, I became very much interested in the concept of education being a cornerstone of democracy. (John Dewey) I also feel strongly that educational institutions have a huge part to play in social justice. With that in mind, I always begin daily with trying to model, teach and share empathy in my classroom and building. If students don’t have empathy, it is nearly impossible to have social justice. I am constantly reminding my students that “fair” is not “equal”. Equality, is not equity.
My hope in cultivating empathy in my students, is that they will ultimately, care enough for each other to be able to show kindness, understanding, flexibility, humility, forgiveness, and establish healthy boundaries with each other. For real life applications, teens and adults are much more likely to gain and retain employment if they are able to work with others, by being flexible, sharing ideas and resources, show basic manners and to speak up when it really matters. (Not to mention- knowing when it matters.) Ultimately I believe educators want their students to learn how to become healthy, contributing members of our communities.
As for behaviors that we should model for our students it is simply, be what you want them to be. Some of the most effective ways of modeling I have found are:
– thinking out loud- especially when it connects to something I know my students may be struggling with,
-treating them with respect and be free with praise,
-owning my own behavioral slip ups and model how to apologize,
-be consistent,
-be even keeled in everything- even discipline, because if I trigger their trauma- we won’t get anywhere
-do deep breathing, ask for a moment to calm, give movement breaks because you need one too
-BE SILLY, show them how not to take yourself too seriously
-do emphasize that your room and school are a safe place to feel whatever they are feeling
-sharing (appropriately) that even the teacher has difficult days and might need some help and how much we appreciate that help and understanding
As an intervention specialist I get to help not only my students but also “typical” peers in understanding that “fair is not equal” and I am always impressed by how easy it is for them to accept this concept at a very young age. It is easier when a student has physical disabilities. It is the “invisible” disabilities that are harder to help all ages understand and have empathy for.
My hope in cultivating empathy in my students is that it will help them to develop a strong moral identity which will stick with them throughout their lives. I strive to give them examples of of empathy, notice it, and encourage it whenever I can. I hope to model empathy, and always make sure that students feel cared for in my presence. One of the wonderful things about working with young children is that I get to help provide a foundation of emotional development that will help them in all types of situations as they grow. I believe that adults need to model empathy whenever possible. If students see us as a calm guiding presence in their lives, they will know that we care and they can come to us in difficult situations. If we seem rushed or unavailable to have a conversation, they may not see us as they empathetic models that they need. We need to show students that their emotional wellbeing is as important as their academics. When we are able to slow down and be present for our students, we are model empathy.
My hope in cultivating empathy in my middle school students is similar to how I feel about creating empathy in my own child who is 4 1/2. If we can “raise” children/students who think of other people and put other people before themselves, or at least consider that other people matter, then our schools and our communities will be better because of it. The difficulty in middle school is that so many students don’t have a true sense of self or are still trying to develop one, so the adults surrounding the kids every day have a huge responsibility to model empathy, kindness and consideration for others so students see what it should be like. One example that always comes to mind is when student are playing a review game or something like it in a classroom and they are on teams. If one students gets an answer wrong and it subsequently affects the team, there are typically groans of frustration from fellow teammates. As the adult in the room, I feel it’s important to address this immediately and not let it happen, explaining why it could be hurtful. Students needs to consider the feelings of the student who got the answer wrong. What would they feel like if it was them instead? How could they react in an encouraging way instead of a discouraging way toward their classmate or team? If we ignore this kind of behavior and let students treat each other badly, we are not modeling appropriate empathetic behavior.
I stress from day one with my students that I can be their listening board. i want them to know that they can talk to me about anything that is bothering them whether it is at work, at home or at school. I want them to develop trust and know they can be honest about their emotions and feelings and I will not judge or try to “fix” what is bothering them. I hope by modeling this behavior that my students would be listening boards for each other.
I have used a mirror in the past with students so they can see their body language and determine if it “matches” their words. This works best “in the moment” i.e. immediately after having a discussion with a coworker.
Gosh, all of these comments are spot on! As I reflect on a particularly difficult week in my building, I am so refreshed to hear these hopes and perspectives from colleagues around central Ohio. Thanks for sharing, all!
My hope for my students is that they will find small ways to spread kindness through out our building. I tell them often that it’s OK to not enjoy all 999 other people in our school, but it is not OK to be unkind to them. I preach the Golden Rule, and half jokingly tell them to keep a small Mrs. Harris on their shoulder to remind them “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” I want everyone in our building to feel safe and comfortable while leaning about themselves and the world around them – both the adults and the kids.
Adults are most definitely the key to creating this culture of empathy in any school. The climate in my middle school is terrible right now, and I believe it is because the adults are behaving in ways they would never tolerate from their students. We can’t assume that our students learn about empathy, kindness, or manners at home, so we must teach and model these expectations. We as adults should practice simple behaviors such as greeting each other by name, expressing emotions in healthy ways, modeling self regulation strategies, and living by the Golden Rule.
Educators are playing a more important role than ever, but we are also being asked to do so much more than ever. This combination is resulting in many disregulated adults trying to teach many disregulated kids. I hope to help my building take a breath, focus on the important skills of empathy and kindness between ALL members of our community, and become Unselfie 😉
My hope is that all of my students will see the importance of empathy and spread kindness when an adult isn’t asking. I hope through my individual relationships with kids I can model kindness. I hope to encourage my students to take the risk of reaching out to someone if they need a friend or support.
A school culture should be modeled daily – adults who are non-judgmental, use body language that shows empathy (getting down on their level, eye contact, mirroring their body language), validate their emotions, be curious about their students, build relationships, validate different perspectives, and be genuine listeners.